The Weight of a Button

Right now I’m suffering from a phenomenon I deal with once in a while when it comes to gaming. I’ve taken a relatively extended break—first because of the holidays, then a move into a new apartment, and finally the tortuous two-week wait for an internet installation—and only in the past few days am I really able to log into EVE. But, for some reason, I’m not. It’s as if the ‘log in’ button weighs 600 pounds, and I just can’t lift it.

I’ve come to realize that games have weight. It’s a metaphysical weight that is determined by how much responsibility the game carries with it. Peggle, for example, is a featherweight. There is no obligation to play, in a real sense or even in the game narrative. Dragon Age, a single player 80 hrs plus roleplaying game, is a middle weight game. The player is asked to make somewhat tough moral and strategic decisions that demand your full attention most of the time, but when life calls, the world can be paused or exited…no harm done.

You can guess where I’m going with this: MMO’s are the heavyweights. They’re time intensive (see this post on how little can be done in EVE when you only have an hour to spare). You’re communicating, in a real way, with others who depend on your good decisions. There are repercussions to your failed actions. You’re committed to a fight, and you sure as hell can’t can’t pause.

And though these are the very things that make MMO’s beautiful, when stepping away from that world over time, the weight of all these obligations build like a tumbling avalanche. The game world didn’t stop when I did, so I know that there’s a ton of news to catch up on, mails to read, plans to be made, people to say hello to, blogs to devour, tweets to read, jump bridges to mark, skills to evaluate, on, and on, and on—or I can go pop in Battlestar Galactica Season 3, and relax for 40 minutes. Relief.

So that’s where I’m at. Right now, the EVE icon is a treadmill, and I’m a fat ass. But dammit, I’ve got to get back on the horse, because in the end, I miss it (and you all) terribly. It’s just a matter of blocking off a half-day and diving in. Here’s looking to this coming weekend.